Are you a ‘well’ Being?
It’s fascinating how certain phrases surface culturally and are then reworked when they are then associated with a negative connotation. They, like most things, fall victim to modernization. ‘Mental health’ switched to ‘mental wellness’ and now there’s a push to just simply say well-being. The efforts seem to be in attempts to combat the stigmas associated with mental health and aim to make it more inclusive and normalized. This is encouraging, but nevertheless, interesting. The question of, are you a ‘well’ being can take on many definitions. In some form or fashion, I integrate this concept into every intake evaluation. What would it look like if you were at peace? What would have to happen, or not happen for you to consider yourself a ‘well’being,’ healthy, or stable?
The ability to listen to the cues and warning signs of the body and might is a good indicator that your level of self-awareness and connection is not completely compromised and over-powered by certain parts of you. The parts that aim to protect, but have a tendency to go overboard leaving you feeling imbalanced, unproductive, or disconnected…out of control. The steady urge to put something off, procrastinate, as it might lead to discomfort and it would serve you better at this time to just relax or tackle another task. This constant redirection or inability to find motivation tends to not only lead to negative self-talk, it also has a way of generating confusion and leading you further astray from your goals or responsibilities.
An effective place to start is to understand what these parts of you are trying to protect you from. Do they have a fear of failure, loneliness, or don’t trust that you are capable? They are useful and regardless of how you feel about them, they need to be viewed as your allies, not your enemies. Reframing your relationship with them, showing them gratitude, and working collaboratively with them proves to be much more effective than making attempts to silence them. In order to become a "well" being, it is crucial to acknowledge and collaboratively work with the parts of yourself that tend to limit our progression and engage in self-sabotage. These parts, although seemingly counterproductive, are not inherently negative. They often arise as protective mechanisms that developed over time due to past experiences or conditioning. By recognizing their presence and understanding their underlying motivations, you can engage in a compassionate dialogue with these aspects of ourselves.
Instead of dismissing or fighting against these limiting parts, approach them with curiosity and empathy. This approach allows us to uncover their root causes and the fears or beliefs that drive their behavior. Acknowledging their presence and actively seeking to understand them creates an opportunity for growth and transformation. Engaging in a collaborative process with these limiting parts involves treating them as allies rather than adversaries. It is essential to listen to their concerns and acknowledge the positive intentions behind their actions. This compassionate exploration allows us to gain valuable insights into the deep-seated patterns that hold you back.
By embracing a sense of understanding and unity with these parts, you can gradually introduce new perspectives and beliefs that align with your desires for personal growth. Becoming a "well" being is not about eradicating or suppressing parts of yourselves, but rather about integrating and working collaboratively with all aspects of your being. It is through this compassionate engagement that you can move towards a state of greater self-acceptance, resilience, and overall peace. To cultivate a state of well-being, it is important to identify your "non-negotiables" and the activities or practices that contribute to your overall health and well-being. Non-negotiables are the fundamental aspects of self-care that you prioritize and commit to, regardless of other obligations or external circumstances. They are the boundaries that you set and seek to maintain for yourself. When your non-negotiables are not honored, you are more prone to burnout, exhaustion, and resentment.
Start by reflecting on what truly nourishes and supports you. Consider the activities, habits, and routines that leave you feeling physically energized, mentally clear, and emotionally balanced. These could include regular exercise, a balanced diet, quality sleep, meaningful social connections, mindfulness or meditation practices, engaging in hobbies or creative outlets, or spending time in nature.
Once you have identified your non-negotiables, make a conscious effort to prioritize and integrate them into your daily or weekly routine. Set clear boundaries around these activities and treat them as essential self-care practices rather than optional indulgences. Recognize that investing time and energy into your well-being is not selfish but rather a necessary foundation for leading a fulfilling life. It's also important to remember that your non-negotiables may evolve over time, and it's essential to regularly reassess and adjust them as needed. Each person's needs and circumstances are unique, so what works for someone else may not work for you. Pay attention to your own body and mind, and listen to the signals they send you. This self-awareness will guide you in determining what you truly need to maintain a healthy balance.
Different chapters in life require a variety of energy levels and the ability to approach these alterations allows you to maintain self-connection and decrease the possibility of falling back into an “All or Nothing” modality. Aging gracefully more so involves how you prioritize and find the delicate balance of integrating grace and accountability into your journey as you progress through life and its stages.
Compassion is key especially as it is completely normal to occasionally deviate from your non-negotiables. Life can be unpredictable, and there will be moments when it becomes challenging to uphold all of your desired practices. Embrace flexibility and adaptability, while always striving to realign with your essential self-care activities. Remember that small steps consistently taken in the direction of your well-being can have a significant impact on your overall health and happiness.